How To Stop Being A Loser (7 Steps!)
You’re feeling beat down, things are going your way.
You can’t seem to get out of the slump you’re in.
It’s time to take charge of your life and the downward spiral you’ve found yourself in.
It happens to all of us, and here’s the 7 steps I used to do it…
Step 1 – Establish Your Circle of Control
You can only control your thoughts and your actions, you cannot control the weather, you cannot control the traffic and you cannot control the opinions of others.
This is a harsh reality, however once accepted will allow you to move on.
Didn’t get the job you applied for? As long as you put in the work and submitted the best application you could then that’s all that matters.
What happens thereafter is out of your control.
Accepting this and bettering yourself while finding other potential jobs is within your control.
This sounds simple but the truth is the majority of guys that’re stuck in the ‘losers mentality’ never come to terms with this.
They beat themselves up over things they can’t change or influence.
Step 2 – Understand Your Thoughts Shape Your Reality
What you think you become.
If you allow negative self-talk you’ll soon convince yourself that you are indeed a loser.
If you think like a winner and align your actions as a winner would you’ll become one.
But before action comes thought.
“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts” – Marcus Aurelius
Step 3 – Ditch Consumption
Loser focus on consumption based hobbies, be it watching Netflix, refreshing their social media news feed, sitting on the edge of their seat waiting for Conor McGregor’s next twitter tirade or eating pizza.
Consumption based hobbies may provide slight momentary satisfaction, but in the long run they’ll provide you with nothing, and why should they?
You must provide value in order to get something in return. Be it a feeling of accomplishment, a following or financial gain.
Step 4 – Begin Production
Now that you’ve ditched your time consuming, counterproductive hobbies it’s time to begin building.
What should you produce? That’s up to you… here’s a few of my personal favorite productive hobbies…
- Writing blog posts
- Writing books
- Reading & reviewing non-fiction books
- Testing & making new protein smoothie recipes
Not only do I find each of these production based hobbies fun, each and every one of them benefits me in some way.
I go to bed a little bit stronger and a little bit smarter with each passing day.
The loser remains the same.
Step 5 – Expend Time & Energy Within Your Circle
Continue to expend your time & energy on your new production based hobbies while remembering what is and is not within your control.
This is where a lot of guys fall off once again, they begin lifting but don’t see immediate results – you can’t control how quickly your body responds to your new regime… but as always you can control the amount of effort your putting in during your workouts.
Beating yourself up over events and results that come from outside your circle of control is a waste of time and energy and may see you once again fall back into the mindset of the loser.
Step 6 – Write Down Your Problems
It’s odd, you may feel as if you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders, but once you’ve written down any problems you have on a piece of paper you’ll soon see how trivial many of them are.
This is freeing while also providing the perfect place for you to plot a step-by-step breakdown on how you can overcome each problem.
Begin with the problem or challenge at hand then backtrack as if you were a screenwriter.
What needs to happen to resolve it? What is first step you can take today to get it sorted?
Begin to eradicate these issues.
Step 7 – Build Momentum & Continue Following Your Path
Momentum is lost due to inactivity, when you stand still you’re not moving forward with that momentum!
You must show up and put in the work every single day.
‘showing up’ is subjective to your goal. This may mean getting on the treadmill and hitting that 5km run every single day, or it may mean sitting down to write that 1,000 word article every single day.
Whatever it is, just remember that you don’t get better at something by not doing it and you sure as hell don’t build or even maintain momentum with periods of inactivity.
When you know what YOU want for YOURSELF and you’ve got a plan of attack to get there you’ll soon forget about seeking validation or conformation from others.
The artist, the poet, the athlete… they give it their all and leave it all there – they don’t seek the outside opinion or validation.